Sharing is Caring

As the credits closed out Uncharted 3: Drakes Deception, I turn to my mother and ask: “Well, what did you think?”

“It was good and I enjoyed it.”

“But what did you think of the awesome action sequences?” 

“They were action sequences.”

“You talk about if as if it were a movie.”

“To me, it was.”

Its part of a routine we have, if I ever pick up a videogame of interest to her we will sit together and she will watch me play. We did that for the entire Uncharted series. I would play and she would watch. My mom would help out on the puzzles and even provide the annoying: “Look, he’s over there. Go get him!” While the rest of my immediate family scoffed at us, we were having a good time. 

That was the point to sharing my otherwise solo passion. I wanted her to understand just what a good videogame is and what it can mean. Although my parents have always been well informed and not ones to believe the continuous amounts of hate propaganda spewed against videogames, there have been times when we do not see eye to eye. They become angry and upset at my ‘until I find a save point’ response to questions. Mostly this stems from the difference in opinions and the understanding of videogames between me and my parents. They see videogames as a hobby or cheep entertainment, I see them as my passion. So when my mother and I sit there together, it is my way of sharing and of finding an understanding between us.  She cares for Drake, Sully, and Elena as much as I do, which is why I could not believe it when she said Uncharted 3 was like a movie. 

The comparison between videogames and cinema is a very common one. And one that has, time and again, been proven inaccurate. Film is a passive industry. You sit and you watch, having a story told to you. Most of us will never meet a movie star or take any part in the production of a blockbuster. But everyone has the ability to save the galaxy, rescue the helpless and find the treasure.  Videogames are an interactive medium. That is their appeal, that is their market and that is why they are my passion.  You become an integral part of the experience.  

Videogames transcend movies and yet my mother called Uncharted 3 a movie. I was hurt. Quite physically hurt. Although it can be confused or described as misguided gamer rage it was not. Something I fully believe in was cut down right before my very eyes. All my hopes and aspirations for not just the videogame industry, but for one day having understanding between my parents and myself were crushed. How could she say it was just a movie? That’s impossible; I sat there for 10 hours and played every second of it. And I can guarantee you that Uncharted 3 is not a movie. But the thing is my mother did not. Where I had an interactive experience of thrills and adventure, she had a passive one.  To her, it was a movie.

And I stormed off in a fit of rage. It was not until later that I realized what she truly meant. I do not have to concern myself with trying to get my parents to like or play videogames. They most likely may never be gamers and that is acceptable. All I need them to do is understand my passion. Uncharted 3 was a game to me. Uncharted 3 was a movie to my mother. It does not matter what it was, the only thing that matters is that it was something to the both of us. A shared experience between my mom and me. She is as invested into the series as I am and we often sit around talking, thinking up new ideas and stories for our beloved characters. My mother now understands, and did long before I finally realized she did, what a good videogame can be.  Whether she thinks of it as a videogame or a movie, I no longer care. Just as long as she understands my passion. 

And that is the approach that should be taken throughout the entire Industry. We as gamers should be less concerned with getting converts to our cause and more concerned about spreading understanding. Publishing houses and ad-campaigns would want everyone to be a gamer, but that is an impossible goal and one that the average gamer should not support. To force our passions upon those unwilling to accept it is wrong. My mother is not and never will be a gamer. The point is that she understands my passion and what games mean to me. We have an acceptance; I game, she understands. That is all that is needed. To make everyone a gamer would be to rob them of their own valuable hobbies and passions. 

The Internet has multiple sources for info about gaming with your girlfriend.  Yet, these websites and articles treat the subject in the wrong manner. They are part of the forcing everyone collective. The websites and articles are setup in such a manner as to help you find the appropriate game to play with your significant other. Nothing too hard, which might scare them away. Then they instruct you on how to ease them into it. Start with co-op, then go to deathmatch.  Give them a simple controller. Start a new save so they cannot mess up your progress. These sources treat your girlfriend (or boyfriend, if you prefer) as an imbecile. And that is ultimately the wrong approach. If you want to share your passion with your girlfriend (or boyfriend, if you prefer) then go ahead. Find an understanding, they should respect your passion and you, in turn, should respect their interest or noninterest. If she (or he, if you prefer) likes gaming and whishes to play more than good for you. But if they don’t enjoy it and do not want to continue playing then do not force them. 

A mutual understanding between gamers and non-gamers is what the Industry needs right now. Whether it is between my mother and myself, a gamer and their partner, or any other type of relationship, understanding is a necessity. We cannot and should not force our ideas upon others nor should we allow simple ignorance to debase our passion. Teach them and accept their answer. A understanding of mutual respect will increase the acceptance of gaming.    

So maybe next time I say ‘until I find a save point’ they’ll be more accepting of it.